Three things I'm grateful for...

It's been a while since I did an "I'm grateful for" post.  Here are three...

1. My marriage.  Our church has been doing a sermon series on Love, Sex and Marriage, and it's been a wonderful little refresher course on what this marriage thing is all about.  While ours is certainly not perfect, I find myself approaching our fifth anniversary more in love with my husband than ever.  It's a good feeling!

2. Modern medicine.  I mentioned a while back that Jon and I have been struggling with infertility.  We made the decision in December to fire our doctor, and I couldn't be happier.  We're now at an office who immediately made us feel more at ease, and I'm confident that we're now doing everything we can.  Fingers crossed!

3. Etsy orders.  Holy smokes, this year is off with a bang!  Last year by this time I had 4 orders.  This year, I'm already at 20!  It's looking like Christmas in my work area, but I couldn't be more thrilled.  {Aaaaand, I hope I didn't just jinx myself!}

What are you grateful for today?


{If you haven't entered yet, you'll want to get your name in the running for the Fair Ivy Giveaway!}

p.s. as I was loading the above picture on here, I noticed that blur to the left of me.  What is that?  I guess it's probably Boo Boo, but I don't recall him ever being on the countertop.  Weird?

Giving Thanks...

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Remember about a month ago when I was so overwhelmed with how blessed we are?  Well, it's not that I don't think I'm blessed now, but let's just say it's been a rough few weeks.  Don't get me wrong, I know that we haven't much to want for.  We are very blessed.

Maybe I've just had a rough day, but things just seem hard right now.  {insert Debbie Downer noise here}

Is it bad that the thing I'm feeling most thankful for at the moment is the fact that there's a four day weekend in my immediate future?  For the realization that I can, for a brief period of time, have control over my own schedule, if only for a few days.

I'm feeling mighty crispy, folks.  Like the turkey on the Griswold's Christmas table. {Oh yes, we will be watching that this weekend, I'm sure.}

So, with that being said, perhaps it's the perfect time to make a little listy list of all the some things that I'm grateful for:

1. My relationship with God.  I haven't always had the friendship I feel now.  That's cool.
2. My husband.  For reals.  I got a good one!
3. Our family.  It's a little bit wonky, but isn't everyone's?  I mean, we both come from "broken" homes, but I'd say they've healed in a most wonderful sort of way.
4. Our friends.  I haven't always felt like we had friends.  Today, I know we do.  We have great friends.  Real friends. 
5. Miles.  I miss him so much, you guys.  So, so much.  I'm so grateful for having had him.
6. Our other kitties.  They're not Miles, but this house would be unbearably quiet without them.  They are sweethearts.  Not to each other, but each in their own.
7. Financial peace.  I haven't talked about this much on the blog, but we're big fans of this guy, and I'm so thankful for his wisdom.
8. The hope of tomorrow.  Of things yet to come. 
9. For the success of the shop.  I've already tripled what I did last year, and we're not even through the holiday rush yet!
10. And, of course you all, my blog readers. Thanks for making me feel like I have something to say, even when I really don't.
11. For the fact that I have a warm house, and food to eat.  
12. And, for the promise of a 4 day weekend if I can just make it through work tomorrow!  :)  {still sounding pretty amazing right now!}

 Thanksgiving for us will be unprecedented this year.  We have one place to go.  ONE.  For two kids of divorced parents, this is a big deal.  My dad is off to Colorado with his sweetie, we'll get together with Jon's mom as we always do later in the weekend, and we've combined my mom and his dad into one big family dinner.

I'm just gonna state right now:  I will not be back on here until next week.  There.  See what I did?  I just gave myself a little vacay.  Whoot, whoot!

What are your Thanksgiving plans?  And, pretend we're at the table and tell me what you're most thankful for. 

I hope you all have a wonderful, safe holiday!  

Blessed...

                                     Source: sparkbark.com via jennifer on Pinterest

First of all, I want to thank those of you who left comments for us on Friday .  It never ceases to amaze me how blessed I am by you, my readers.

The last few days have been hard.  Really hard.  I ended up staying home Friday.  I spent the day on the couch in my pajamas.  I cried when I needed to, I watched videos of Miles.  {Which was both heartbreaking and wonderful.  It was so good to see him, and to hear his noises.}  I needed that day.  I needed to let the grief wash over me.  And that it did.  It's still coming in waves for Jon and I both.

It's funny, because the last month or two have been such a time of gratitude for me.  I've been overwhelmed by how blessed I am, and by the glory of God and his people.  Looking at it now, if feels like God was preparing me for this time, so that I wouldn't forget how much he loves me.  I have the best friends in the whole world, and an amazing family.  I am so very blessed, and even in this time of great hardship, I know that.

I had a long conversation with my mom on Friday.  She helped me work through the feelings of "what if I didn't do enough."  I let them go.

Then on Saturday, my friend and pastor, Molly, called during one of my breakdowns.  We talked, and she prayed for us, and a peace came over me.  The pain is still there, but not as sharp.

God does answer prayers.  Miles' little heart couldn't take it any more, but I know he has a new one now.

My God is great, and my God is good.  The worst thing is never the last thing.

Even before Miles got sick last week, I was listening to this song.  We sang it in worship on Sunday, and it was stuck in my head all week.  Another reminder that no matter what, blessed is God's name, and great is his strength.  And that, my friends,  is the greatest blessing of all.

Words to live by...

                                         Source: positivelypresent.tumblr.com via jennifer on Pinterest

                   Source: triciawilson.tumblr.com via jennifer on Pinterest

                               Source: etsy.com via jennifer on Pinterest

I've been blessed with some wonderful people in my life. People who encourage me, and help me learn about myself.  I'm also convinced that I have the best husband on the planet.   I had a chance to talk through some things on Friday, and all weekend I pondered what I learned. Then, yesterday at church, my pastor preached this sermon, and it was like a continuation of the conversation from Friday.  I love it when that happens.  {And honestly, it happens alot.} 

I'm learning that I beat myself up alot.  I worry about what people think, and I lose out on a whole lot of wonderful because I don't trust myself.  I'm also learning that I don't have to do that.  There is a difference between perceived danger and actual danger, and I have to learn to recognize the difference. 

I am loved.  I have a wonderful, supportive family, the best husband, and great friends.  To top it all off, I have a God who wants nothing but the best for me, and that's pretty awesome.

I want to work past my fears, and answer the call to bless others.   I want to go to the deep waters.  I want to experience life outside my comfort zone, because the few times I've ventured there have been some of the best times of my life.

Wishing you all a week full of blessings.  I hope you all know how awesome you are.

 

On being blessed....

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I'm quite certain that I must be the luckiest gal around. 

I have the most wonderful husband.  He's more than I could possibly deserve.

Our families may have once been considered broken, but I've watched them transform into something so beautiful.  There are no longer breaks, but facets that reflect love upon us from so many angles it's overwhelming sometimes. 

We have the most amazing friends.  People who not only are wonderful to us, but people who are literally changing the world.  I'm so honored to be counted among their friends.

Last, but most certainly not least, I have a God who loves me.  I'm so grateful this day for the celebration of Easter, for the hope it brings every day of the year. 

I am so, so blessed. 

And, that's all I have to say this Monday morning. 

Dear Jon...

                           via jennifer on Pinterest

Happy anniversary, my love.

I cannot believe it's been 4 years since we became husband and wife.  In many ways, it seems like yesterday.  Well, maybe not yesterday.  It also feels like we've always been together.  I mean, we have been together for almost 11 years...that's a long time.  But, the marriage part has most definitely been the best part.

I cannot imagine my life without you.  Thank you for being my other half and for loving me so well.  You are absolutely my best friend, and I'm so lucky to get to spend my life with you.

Thank you for making me laugh.  I so enjoy the silliness.  You are the absolute best at quoting things, or just making up the lamest, most hilarious phrases I've ever heard.  {Sugar Ray Yo Mama.  Seriously, I'm cracking up just thinking about it!} 

Thank you for loving me, despite the crazy, deranged child that takes me over sometimes.  You most certainly have seen my worst side, and still haven't ran for the hills.  You must really, really love me. 

Most of all, thank you for taking a leap of faith with me four years ago today.  It's the best thing I've ever done.  I've grown to love you more every day since.

I cannot wait to see what our 5th year brings with it....it's bound to be our best year yet.

I love you.  Love, love, love, love, love.

Jen

I am most thankful for...

via jennifer davis on Pinterest

by Rachel Denbow of Smile and Wave

I thought it would be nice to take a minute and reflect over the things I'm most thankful for this year.

1. My relationship with God.  My faith has grown so much this last year, and I've experienced a closeness with God that I'd forgotten I could have.  {or maybe never even really knew}

2. My amazing husband.  Jon, you are my rock and I am so blessed to call you my husband.

3. My family.  I have the best.  It's far from perfect, but I'd be lost without them.    Also, over this last year, it's really sunk in that I have a whole new family in my in-laws as well.  I'm so, so lucky to have such great in-laws who have accepted me so wholly as their own.

4. My kitties. I love them so much.  Miles has really given us some scares this last year, and I'll never take him for granted again.

5. My home.  I have more than I could ever dream of.

I could go on, and on about all the little things I'm thankful for, like pumpkin cupcakes, my bicycle, my cozy bed, twinkle lights, blogs and pomegranate seeds.  But really, without the first 4 things listed above, all of that would just be stuff.   And, number 5 encompasses all the little things anyway.

Thank you all for being a part of my everyday.  I'm truley blessed to know each and every one of you, and I wish you the happiest of Thanksgivings!  {If you're not in the states, then I wish you the very best of weekends, and time with those you love!}

Do tell, what are you most thankful for this year?  What are your plans for the holiday?

True friendship really is hard to find...

via jennifer davis on Pinterest

Yesterday was a really bad, horrible, awful day. 

Well, let me clarify.  It wasn't the worst day I've had, but it was bad.  I won't go into details, cause I'm better than that, but let's just say that true friends are hard to find, and that we got stabbed in the back, punched in the face and spit on.  The craziest thing, is that it came from two completely unrelated directions, on the same day, to converge in the perfect storm of ego busting, friendship destruction.

My heart is broken.  I feel used, and abused and I'm angry with myself for not guarding my feelings more closely.

I am so very thankful for the friends that I do have.  For the ones who have stuck by me through thick and thin.  And, for my husband.  He is an amazing man. 

We've taken some steps recently to try and guard ourselves.  Even before this all happened, we committed ourselves to a Facebook fast.  We were talking Friday evening about the compulsion we both feel to check it every day.  We don't like feeling enslaved to a social network, and feel it doesn't add much to our lives.  If anything, it takes away.  We're stepping way for one month, and then we'll re-evaluate. 

I would like to point out, that while I do check my blog multiple times a day, it's completely different.  You all lift me up, and I am so grateful.  You inspire me, and make me feel like what I have to say matters.  Thank you.  I'm convinced that somehow the nicest people from all over the world find there way here, and that makes me so happy.  You guys give me hope. 

So, here's to a better day today! 

Keepin' it real...

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So, I'm going to share something that I find kinda silly about myself.

You see, I write this blog, and I love that for some reason you all come here to read it. I get even more excited when you actually take the time to comment on what I've posted. It makes my day, really, every single time.

But, I seem to have this disconnect. I forget that people I know in real life read this. {hi guys!} When they say something about the blog, I feel this twinge of embarrassment. Not in what I've said, or what I've posted, but it's like they've peeked into my soul. Gosh, that sounds lame. Now I'm getting nervous, cause I know they're reading this. {hi again} It's really hard to explain, because it's not at all that I don't want them reading, and I love to hear that they are! I recently learned that Jon even reads {hi honey} and that even makes me feel all silly.

I'm not sure what that says about me.

Maybe it's because very rarely do I get a comment from a real life friend. I guess I just forget they're reading. 

Do they think this is some kind of exclusive thing, and like they're not welcome to comment?  That is so not true!  Comment away real life friends!

Maybe it's cause it's kinda like finding out that my friends and family have been reading my diary...but then again I post said diary right here on the internet for all to see...I want people to read it! 

I'm sure this is all rooted in some deep desire for acceptance, and a little self doubt.  So be it.  Just trying to keep it real, folks!

So, does anyone else experience this? Is it just me? 

I appreciate all of you, whether I know you in real life or not! 

Happy heart....

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My heart is full of happiness this Monday morning.

I've been struggling a bit as of late, with feelings of frustration, bordering on self pity.  I've been fighting it off best I can, but it creeps in.  I'm ashamed to admit that, because with a clear head and enough sleep, I know I have more than I could ever ask for, and I'm so thankful.

Let me tell you, this weekend did me good.

It started off on an emotional note,  but I saw more love and family, more excitement and pure happiness this weekend then I've seen in a while.  I'm not sure I can even express any more than that on this blog today.

I hope all of you were refilled and refreshed this weekend, as I was!

To those of you, my family and friends, who let me experience your joy this weekend, {you know who you are}  I thank you.  From the bottom of my heart. 

I am grateful for....

Family.

I received word this morning that my aunt's house was hit by a tornado. 

 She was in her kitchen making breakfast for my cousin when she felt a burst of suction and saw the roof of her covered porch twisting off.  Thankfully, they made it to the basement, but she fell while going down the stairs and injured her knee and pulled her neck.  

I'm so grateful that they are all okay.  The roof is gone from her porch, laundry room and about 6 feet of her kitchen, but it sounds as though it could have been much worse.

She said it's the scariest thing she's ever experienced.  I cannot even imagine.

{photo credit:  madelyn * }

Sweeping thoughts...

Last night while I swept the floors {my chore for the day}, I got to thinking about those loved ones who are no longer with us.  I'm not sure what triggered it, but I was suddenly very aware of how short life really is.  I started missing my grandparents, and my great aunt.  This lead to thoughts of my own mortality.  

Let me tell you, this is really hard for me to write about, because it's probably my least favorite subject ever.  I don't like to acknowledge it.  See, I can't even bring myself to type the word.  You know, the "d" word.  I'm squirming in my seat.  Literally.  I'm that uncomfortable with it. 

Anyway, I started thinking about what I want my life to entail, the legacy I want to leave.  I think what scares me most, is that I'm not sure I'm leaving what I would want to.  I mean, I don't feel that I'm living a bad life, but I know I'm not living as fully as I could, as I should.  I could love more.  I could give more.  I could experience more.

This is a pretty deep post for me.  Perhaps it's that I'm nearing my 30th birthday, but I've felt alot of growth within myself lately.  I'm at a point where I realize that life is so, so short.  There is so much I want to do.  Not really anything magnificent, but I just want to live the everyday.  Really live it.  You know?  And, I've realized lately that I've spent the majority of my 20's wishing I had a different body.  I think alot of women struggle with this.  Lately, I've been more comfortable in my skin.  {despite the fact that my body is the furthest from my ideal that it's ever been}  I've decided to just love me.  It feels good.  Because when I love me, I want to take care of me.  No need to hate.  You can't live life to its fullest when you're not loving yourself. 

In thinking about my legacy, I was also aware of this blog and how it's now my journal, my diary, my scrapbook.  It's a record of this life I'm living.  It's more than that though, because it's brought all of you into my life, and for that, I am so grateful.  I cannot tell you enough how much each and every comment you leave means to me.  I feel like I have friends all across the country, and the world.  It's really quite amazing!  Thanks for reading.

I hope you all have a glorious day, and take in all the little things.  ;)

{photo credit:  jennipenni}

I am grateful for...

fresh berries and how delicious they make my morning yogurt.

{photo credit:  the cheshire smile}

I am grateful for...

kitty kisses in the morning.

{photo credit: jasoncfelper }

I am grateful for...

the sound of soft raindrops on the window in the morning.

{photo credit:  Eterni}

i am grateful...

for you!  

found here.

just wanted to take a moment to thank you all for taking this journey with me.  i love having each and every one of you along,  and am so glad that we've met through this crazy little place called blogland!  you guys are the best, and i honestly get giddy every time i get a new comment to read!  thank you, thank you, thank you!

have a beautiful sunday!  

p.s. welcome to our new readers too!  i can't wait to get to know you better!  :)

I am grateful for....

• my home and how it sparkles when it's clean  {now I just have to get it back to sparkling!}
• yogurt oatmeal parfaits ...they're delicious!
• our awesome new neighborhood friends who we have so much fun hanging out with
• slow starts to saturday mornings
• kitties in baskets

Gratitude...

As I was waking up this morning I was thinking about a friend.  I realized, as I was coming to, that I was thinking jealous thoughts.  Then all of a sudden, I thought (it was like I heard a voice, but that's creepy) "Why are you thinking that way!?  What's wrong with what you have and what your life is!?"  And then I realized I am right.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE MY LIFE!  I am so very, very blessed, and I know it.  But, I do find myself thinking, "oh, well she has this", or "If only I looked like that"  or "I wish I was like her".  The fact of the matter is that I have more than one woman could or should ever ask for, and I need to start appreciating it! 

So, I decided in that moment that I was going to start doing a gratitude post on here.  {I've heard that writing down what you're grateful for is hard at first, but if you keep at it, it helps fill your life with happiness}

As soon as I thought that, I knew what I was grateful for this morning:

I am grateful for kitty wiskers tickling my face in the morning, and cold little noses against mine.  Most of all I'm grateful for the sweet little face of my most amazing furry friend, and those pretty eyes looking back at me saying, "get up mama, we're hungry!"