Sweeping thoughts...

Last night while I swept the floors {my chore for the day}, I got to thinking about those loved ones who are no longer with us.  I'm not sure what triggered it, but I was suddenly very aware of how short life really is.  I started missing my grandparents, and my great aunt.  This lead to thoughts of my own mortality.  

Let me tell you, this is really hard for me to write about, because it's probably my least favorite subject ever.  I don't like to acknowledge it.  See, I can't even bring myself to type the word.  You know, the "d" word.  I'm squirming in my seat.  Literally.  I'm that uncomfortable with it. 

Anyway, I started thinking about what I want my life to entail, the legacy I want to leave.  I think what scares me most, is that I'm not sure I'm leaving what I would want to.  I mean, I don't feel that I'm living a bad life, but I know I'm not living as fully as I could, as I should.  I could love more.  I could give more.  I could experience more.

This is a pretty deep post for me.  Perhaps it's that I'm nearing my 30th birthday, but I've felt alot of growth within myself lately.  I'm at a point where I realize that life is so, so short.  There is so much I want to do.  Not really anything magnificent, but I just want to live the everyday.  Really live it.  You know?  And, I've realized lately that I've spent the majority of my 20's wishing I had a different body.  I think alot of women struggle with this.  Lately, I've been more comfortable in my skin.  {despite the fact that my body is the furthest from my ideal that it's ever been}  I've decided to just love me.  It feels good.  Because when I love me, I want to take care of me.  No need to hate.  You can't live life to its fullest when you're not loving yourself. 

In thinking about my legacy, I was also aware of this blog and how it's now my journal, my diary, my scrapbook.  It's a record of this life I'm living.  It's more than that though, because it's brought all of you into my life, and for that, I am so grateful.  I cannot tell you enough how much each and every comment you leave means to me.  I feel like I have friends all across the country, and the world.  It's really quite amazing!  Thanks for reading.

I hope you all have a glorious day, and take in all the little things.  ;)

{photo credit:  jennipenni}